Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
