but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
