I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
