He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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