Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
