the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
