We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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