My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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