Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize
