Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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