She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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