Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
