I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize