I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize