They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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