I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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