I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize