Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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