i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
