You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
