trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Its about making memories worth repressing
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
