Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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