She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
