Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
