; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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