Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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