yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
