How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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