I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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