he was CRYING into my vagina
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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