did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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