nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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