if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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