i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Two words: nipple clamps
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