So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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