do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
