Screwed.edu
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
