i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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