I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
