Sponge bath it is.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize