ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
