Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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