I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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