what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
