Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
