Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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