She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
