His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
