it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize