This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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