do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
