well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
