my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
