If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You know, be my cock's hype man.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
