1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
