Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
