drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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