My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
