hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
