My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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