somebody snuck up and got me drunk
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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