You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
