I like to think it a success when the cops are called
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
