The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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