I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I think my moral compass just broke
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
