I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
