I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
