i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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