remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
