I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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