I am spending my child support on dildos
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
