Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
